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| "I cried myself to sleep last night
And the ghost of Carl, he approached my window
I was hypnotized, I was asked
To improvise
On the attitude, the regret
Of a thousand centuries of death"
.... oh sufjan, oh sufjan
blllaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh something always has to come along and mess it all up!! | | |
| it's 3:10 in the morning and I have a final tomorrow.
I have a final tomorrow. woooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooo.
school is kicking my butt.
wwwwooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
why do finals make me so hungry?
it's kind of like smoking pot ... you always get the munchies.
i've never smoked pot though ... just in case you were wondering.
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| God has a plan right? right. He does. He has to.
This is an impossible wish, but I wish I could understand why He does what He does. I wish I could see the big picture. I wish I could stop hurting and stop doubting and have faith. God tells us that all we need is faith the size of a mustard seed ... I never realized before how incredibly hard that is. Impossible really. I need some kind of hope. I need some kind of faith. I need God.
It won't stop hurting. Aren't we supposed to be joyful or something? I keep reading things that tell me I'm not supposed to take on the pain of others; I'm just supposed to intercede in prayer for them, but I don't believe that really works.
listen to Jim's new song on his MySpace. it's amazing. | | |
| I REALLY LIKE LUDACRIS! I REALLY LIKE BASKETBALL! I REALLY LIKE THAT THE FIRST BASKETBALL GAME WAS LAST NIGHT! kendrick, larry, and hendrick ... have my heart. 
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| I think I'm ready to grow up. I don't want to rush life, but ... I'm ready. I don't care about most of the college stuff around me. I love the part out of my day when I get to be a grownup. I think I'm in a rush to grow up because I want to be able to help my boys and girls club kids ... and I mean really help ... which means I have to be able to handle hearing real problems and react in an adult way. And come up with adult solutions. But, I need to prove myself in the small things before God is going to give me such great responsibility. So, it's time to start proving. First things first: I need to learn to budget.
Problems are big. I underestimate them too much.
God is great. I don't trust Him enough.
This song is absolutely blowing my mind:
what will be left when i've drawn my last breath,
besides the folks i've met and the folks who know me,
will i discover a soul cleansing love,
or just the dirt above and below me,
i'm a doubting thomas,
i took a promise,
but i don't know what's safe,
oh me of little faith,
sometimes i pray for a slap in the face,
then i beg to be spared 'cause i'm a coward,
if there's a master of death i'll bet he's holding his breath,
as i show the blind and tell the deaf about his power,
i'm a doubting thomas,
i can't keep my promises,
'cause i don't know what's safe,
oh me of little faith
i'm a doubting thomas,
i can't keep my promises,
'cause i don't know what's safe,
oh me of little faith,
can i be used to help others find truth,
when i'm scared i'll find proof that its a lie,
can i be lead down a trail dropping bread crumbs,
that prove i'm not ready to die,
please give me time to decipher the signs,
please forgive me for time that i've wasted,
i'm a doubting thomas,
i'll take your promise,
though i know nothin's safe,
oh me of little faith
that's doubting thomas by nickel creek. wow.
dear danny martin: if you are reading this I need to tell you ... 1. you are very funny, 2. I am so extremely glad you pointed out the bathroom ramifications of being a star on 24 ... it will not deter me, but now I can plan my schedule accordingly, 3. why am I writing this on here? I will just go comment on your xanga!
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